Hey everyone. I have quite the confession to make to those I've lied to....

I realize this will offend a lot of people, I will lose respect, and I will shatter your trust into pieces. But I've kept this lie long enough, and I can't stand it anymore.

I do not have cancer.
I have never had cancer.
I never had surgery.
I don't even have a tumor, as far as I know.

But I know you're wondering... why did I lie about something so serious?

I have several reasons, but I know that no reason is acceptable for something like this.

After my first girlfriend broke up with me, I was crushed. Instinct reaction to anybody who's been dumped. A week later, my parents tell me they are getting a divorce. As they are too distressed over their own situation, no attention is paid to me or my siblings, I'm being forced to move out with mom and live with her, and I feel no love from them at all. Then, I fall in love with one of my best friends, my self esteem bursts through the roof. Then... I'm dumped.. again... for the same reason my first girlfriend told me... -same exact reason-. I'm not gonna say the reason, it's nobody's business but mine and theirs.

Add in the fact that our family was constantly in debt and losing our money, and I'm not feeling too good.

By this point, I'm convinced that I'm unlovable. Maybe it's a curse? Maybe God's testing me? Who knew? I know I didn't know.

I was feeling suicidal. If nobody loved me, what's the point of living on Earth? I decided that if I said I had a serious sickness, then I could use the excuse that I "died" during surgery.

However, after seeing that everyone cared for me so much, I lost the will to kill myself, and decided to milk this lie for the compassion and attention I was receiving.

Karma, or as I like to call it, God Getting Ticked, has a way of making you confess your lies. I lost a friend, got her back, then got a speeding ticket, then lost that friend again.... if that isn't God Getting Ticked Off, I don't know what is... I just want to say I'm very sorry for taking advantage of all of your compassion, making you waste your prayers and feelings towards someone who isn't sick at all, prayers and feelings that could have been used for someone who really -did- have a serious ailment.

I feel like a total fool. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I know you are all really mad at me for taking advantage of you like this. As a result, I'm isolating myself from the internet to deal with my problems at home before I can come back. I need a long time away from the internet. A long time away from text messaging. And a long time alone.

Again, I sincerely apologize for taking advantage of everyone. Kat, EP, Alex, Jay, Raven, everybody I've lied to. While I hope you don't feel sorry for me, please don't throw insults. As Jesus said, let he without sin cast the first stone....